There are moments where there are 5 kids screaming my name, all for different reasons. Or other times that the kids are upset because they aren’t getting their way. In these instances it can get pretty overwhelming fast and it feels like everyone is needing your attention and help at that very moment. I take a deep breath and try not to get frustrated, but the reality is that it is really hard not to.
From 2:30-5 I take care of our youngest three (Bpao, Naam, and Gauv). We do different things like color, play hide and seek, bike, jump on the trampoline and usually everyone has a pretty good attitude! Yesterday was a bit different. I’m not sure if it was sleepiness or boredom but Gauv was not having it. He cried at least 5 times during the 2.5 hrs. This usually doesn’t happen. He cried because he couldn’t find his shoes. He cried because someone didn’t share their snack with him. He cried because he didn’t want to walk. And then a couple extra times. I was really confused because he isn’t usually so whiny. It was also pretty frustrating because it was continuous loud screaming, so most of the times I walked away so he would calm down.
After yesterday’s experience with Gauv, I started thinking about how I had reacted to his pouting. I don’t think that walking away to give him a minute was wrong, but I wondered what Jesus would do in that situation. I definitely don’t think Jesus would give Gauv something just because he was crying about it, but would He walk away in annoyance? It’s hard to know exactly what is the right thing to do because you want to instill good habits but you also want to do it in a loving way.
I’ve been angry at God before and frustrated that He didn’t give me what I wanted. I didn’t understand and I prayed extra hard so that He would get the picture. Mostly there was just silence and that silence was annoying. I look back now at those moments and I cannot express my gratitude enough to God that He didn’t give me what I so earnestly pleaded for. I couldn’t see what He saw and it took awhile for it to eventually unravel itself.
Maybe God sometimes has to let us sit and pout for a second before He steps back in. Not meaning that He walks away from us in annoyance, but instead, in love, gives us a moment to get our frustration out. The silence is hard, and can sometimes feel like God doesn’t care or has abandoned us but really God may just be letting us vent and get it out.
