"i don't want to have my sin"

“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.” Psalm 16:11

I hit these points multiple times a year where I decide I want to be super intentional. I want to know what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, and stick to it. And that resolve sticks around for a little while, until I let myself fall back into what's easy.

Just existing.

But I realize that when I let myself just exist, I lose the joy and purpose that comes from being intentional. When my time with God becomes just another thing to check off my to-do list, I miss out on the joy and peace that come from a deep relationship with Him. Not prioritizing steals my joy. It makes me feel a bit like a robot, programmed to do the next thing. But life is so much more than that. God didn't put us on this earth to live a mindless existence with no excitement. I actually believe we’re here for something entirely different.

He quite literally gave us a part in the plan of salvation that no other world will get to experience. We have the opportunity to reveal God's character, not only to the people on this earth but also to the other worlds. Not only did He love us enough to die for us, but He also desires for us to work alongside Him.

Realizing that makes me want to live with a purpose that only God can give. I know that when I'm standing where He wants me, I’ll have more joy and peace than anywhere else. And that's enough for me. It reminds me what kind of God I serve.

One of the kids asked me what baptism was earlier, and after I explained it, he told me he wants to be baptized too. I asked him why, and he said, "Because I don’t want to have my sin." And that’s what I want too. I want to be in such close communion with God that “I don’t have my sin.”

I'm constantly amazed by how God speaks to me. I expect it to be loud and direct but then comes through the sweetest voice.

I’m so thankful for what God has been teaching me. I’m learning to be grateful even for the times that hurt and leave me feeling alone. I know I have to be willing to be refined in the fire to have that closeness with God.